Why Andy Capp's Hot Fries Are The GOAT Deli Snack

Yes. That's right. Not Doritos, potato chips or white cheddar popcorn. Andy Capp's Hot Fries, baby.

You may have your own deli snack GOAT and that’s perfectly fine. We're all allowed to be wrong. But when you really search your soul, unless you've never snagged a bag on a beautiful spring day with your lunch, it's hard not to imagine Mr. Capp's wild fries coming out on top.

But why? Why are these simple, mildly spiced corn & potato snacks the perfect deli pairing?

I'd be lying if I said one factor wasn't a ubiquitousness specific to delis & bodegas in the Northeast United States. While Andy Capp's Hot Fries are sold in grocery stores, they're not in every store and they're not pushed with any kind of hard sell like more conventional snacks. I'd be shocked if someone were able to produce a grocery flier that actually advertised them at some point in the last 20 years. Meanwhile, that shiny blue bag has been a constant staple in every single deli worth their salt since the brand acquired greater distribution through Con-Agra in the late 90s.

I'll concede this can't be true for everybody. But for people who are hip to the heat, those damn Hot Fries seemed like they were always there on the chip shelf. Tempting you away from that boring ass bag of Lays or tube of Pringles.

And why shouldn't it be so tempting? By the time you're in middle school, you've had all the chips and pretzels you could ever handle. Seeing something on the shelf just a little bit outside the norm without being too outlandish was a true novelty. A risk. But one that paid off with that perfectly light and crunchy texture and the exact right amount of heat that, didn't start off hot at all, but gradually built up to a crescendo as you got deeper into the bag.

It's novel. It's airy. It's getting spiced Fries for lunch, but as a snack. Everyone loves a side of fries. Now you've got that with your turkey, lettuce, & tomato on a bagel with mayo (don't act like a bagel sandwich isn't the most indulgently comforting deli sandwich).

"But what about Takis?"

Yeah? What about them? Like them if you must, but don't you dare forget that they are riding on the shoulders of Andy Capp and his spicy sticks. To say nothing of the fact that Takis have the consistency of eagle talons and are far, far too vinegar forward. I recognize that there's a whole current generation that just goes tits up for Takis. But you still have to respect the past if you want to enjoy the present.

So owing to its unique placement in deli & bodega culture, mixed with a fairly mild but well-building heat, and conceit of being the true equivalent to what a side of fries is to a dinner, that drunk SOB Andy Capp deserves his place as the GOAT deli snack.

If you've ever read the actual Andy Capp comic strip, you know this shlub ain't winning husband of the year. But you have to give the devil his due. The man bakes a good Hot Fry.

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